DEAR DIARY, JUST A QUESTION! – PART 3

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Thirdly, I don’t really understand what has become the definition of relationship for people in the 21st Century. Relationship meaning, parent-child, friendship, romantic relationship or even relationship with your colleagues. Every day I see some or other fighting with each other instead of fighting for each other. The essence of bringing happiness, has been lost. Why has it become about gives and takes? Why has the adjustment factor vanished? What were the days where things went with so much ease that the biggest complication was about what channel to be watched on the TV at night? No one tried to bridge the generation gap, no one tries to build the trust.

I have this question, “Why has communication become so difficult?” “Why don’t people just TALK?” I feel everyone is so busy being insecure in themselves that they aren’t letting people in.

A father may think differently from his child, that is generation gap. But assuming only him to be right, is not RIGHT. Any relationship works when both the people try to work out the differences. The father might have the experience but the child has the reality check of the NEW AGE. All they need to do is to sit, and talk.

A friend might be more practical, the other might be more emotional. None of them has the perfect way to do things. All they need to do is to sit, and talk.

In a romantic relationship, one may have issues with one of the habits of his/ her partner, while other may just be too cool with everything. It is not a compatibility issue. All they need to do is sit, and talk.

One of the colleagues may not like the other because he is in the boss’ good books, the latter may not like the former because he doesn’t like to be casual around work. This doesn’t mean one of them is incompetent and the other is the “Employee of the year”. All they need to do is sit, and talk.

Talk about the differences, talk about the similarities. Say what you feel wrong, hear what the other feels. Behaving cold because you don’t agree to the person is not the way out. That may satisfy your ego, but will never let you have your peace of mind. Communication, no matter how cliché it may sound, is the key to nay relationship. You won’t last if you don’t talk. If one really wants to avoid misunderstanding, never fail to express your opinions to the other person. Keep expectations, that is okay, but make them clear to the other person. Making a compromise is not about giving away your self-respect, it is defining your priorities. Let the other person know you, let the other person understand you.

When I am writing all this, there are instances of my life in which I have been facing the same things, at this very moment. Not being able to communicate because the other person is so difficult that they end up misunderstanding you always. I know it is more difficult when one of the two believes in the fact the communication is a two way thing, speaking is one day. This whole “stay-safe-at-home” situation has brought light to so many things in my life that I can’t even pen down. I have realized, we give so much importance to the situations, to the issues, to the problems that we forget the person, the relationship, that one moment with them, it is more important. We keep pushing away people we love because we think they don’t understand us. But the fact is we don’t understand that every one is different in their own way, we can’t expect the other person to believe what we believe. Opinions might be different, but that does not imply that the two can never work it out together. Every person has their own way of reacting to situations, sometimes there is no right or wrong, sometimes it is just about understanding things from the other person’s perspective. Looking at a situation standing in their shoes will definitely give you a better view.

I know, I very well know, every person reading this, knows all of this. But the fact is, none of us has the courage to work like this. We are so living in a self-created bubble where only we are right. This very fact does not allow us to understand others. Talk, people talk. We all need to work it out somehow. Let’s burst this bubble of perfection and give others the benefit of doubt.